The other day I was watching an interview with the great Jamaican Dr. the Hon. Usain Bolt. He recalled in the early days of his career how he felt because a popular sports commentator made a negative comment because he was not performing as expected.
The rejection he felt from the Jamaican fans due to his disappointing performance acted as a fuel which serves as a motivating factor to him becoming the greatest sprinter in the world.
Rejection will come one way or the other. There are times when you will do all you can expecting to be rewarded by all your hard work just to see someone who in your eyes are undeserving receive what you had worked extremely hard to acquire or accomplish. When these things happen don’t give up, don’t get bitter, find the “bright side”, continue to work hard and move on.
I have experienced rejection numerous times in my life. The feeling of not being appreciated is not an easy one to handle; however it is a part of life. In high school I understood that many women would be rejected because they did not have the “browning” colour which was what most men preferred. I was adamant that I was aware of self and that anyone who rejected me because of colour wasn’t worthy of me in the first place. The guys would flutter around the girls of lighter complexion and today they still do, to the point where many are using harsh chemicals to get that light complexion that one would call “pretty”.
During my teenage years I worked hard to represent my school. I played sports (netball and track and field), I was in the Red Cross and Choral Speaking clubs who frequently performed at events and I was the 1st speaker on our school’s debating team that actually entered the inter-school competition.
I was in the top class in all grades of my school and at the end of the 10th Grade I was told by a senior teacher that I was to purchase my white shirt for the next academic year as I was to become a prefect.
I was so ecstatic. I told my parents. They were happy that all my hard work paid off as I was quite participative. One bright and early September morning I arrived at school. The teacher who had made the announcement before school closed called me aside and shared the most disappointing news that I was no longer on the prefect body, therefore I was no longer required to get a white shirt for school. (This situation by the way happened after my mother had already purchased my shirt as I had shared the good news as expected at the end of Grade 10, which was when I was told to get the clothes for the new school year.)
No explanation or justification was given in regards to the decision. In those days, teachers because of their superior nature did not see the need to explain themselves or decisions to children regardless of the emotional impact their decision may have caused. My reactions again were expected. I felt hurt and rejected. I was fourteen years old. No explanation was given about the decision. I didn’t get into any trouble during the year and I wondered if my former maths teacher had anything to do with it (he and I had a misunderstanding at the beginning of the previous academic year long before the announcement and holidays and I was never rude to him). However, I moved on and still represented my school as expected at events and competitions despite the opinions of others.
I was still loyal to my school as I really loved it despite the few negatives I had experienced. After all that’s a part of life! I also thought that having less school responsibilities gave me the freedom to pursue the things that I liked and to enjoy the freedom I cherished.
In my love life, I know what it is like to love someone and not have them reciprocate the emotion. I also know what it is like to work hard yet others are rewarded due to nepotism or the more popular term favouritism.
I have also proven the fact that the following Jamaican patois term is true: “What is fi yuh cannot be un fi yuh”. In other words “what is yours is yours”, if you are destined to achieve it you will! If you did not get that job you so desired because you were unappreciated, don’t worry about it just thank God for the bigger promotion that he has provided for you to get in the future.
God is not man so that he should lie. He promised that he wants to prosper you and to ensure success on your journey (Jeremiah 29 vs 11). Make your requests known to him and wait on the answer. Don’t act before then expect him to back you up. If only I had learnt this lesson years ago I would have saved myself a lot of emotional and physical pain.
If you work hard and you are not rewarded, or if you were in a relationship which just did not work out, evaluate yourself, evaluate the actions of others and make a decision. If you did not do anything wrong and you have evidence that you have been wronged, follow your intuition. It is usually right. Also learn to forgive. Forgiveness is not for the other person it is for you to be able to move on. For years I was bitter about how I was treated by a few bullies I had encountered. I called them “Goliaths”. Forgiving them was what enabled me to let go and move past the incidences.
I know now, that this life is not easy or fair. However, we have to believe that there are a few good people out there in this world and that regardless of whatever happens in life there is someone who loves me without expectation. His sacrifice and grace has proved that regardless of the mistakes I make in this earthly life he is still willing to love me, forgive me, bless and help me because of his nature. He says he would never leave or forsake me and that there is no condemnation because I am his child. He will be with me to the end (Matthew 18 v 20). When I tap into his source, I experience indescribable emotions. The kind that will make you cry because of the joy, outpouring and release you get when you are in his presence. I can offload without worrying about hypocrisy, trust or rejection, because in his presence is an abundance of love.
So remember when facing rejection don’t let go of self, lose your identity or accept less than your standards because of the fear of rejection. The act or experience my just be a blessing in disguise, an escape route, a lesson to be learnt for your growth or an opportunity provided for you to receive God’s provision. A blessing!
Rejection: People won’t always like you or accept you. For Christ himself was rejected – more so you. Rejection hurt, but MOVE ON! You will find the place where you are accepted. No matter how hard you try SOME PERSONS CANNOT BE PLEASED. THEY WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED WITH YOUR ACTIONS. Also, don’t feel condemned, you have worth. You are special, you are unique you are loved by your creator and will be accepted by those who are worthy of your time, efforts and love. Keep in mind also that you cannot control another’s action, but you can control your response to their behaviour. So let your rejection be the fuel that propels you to your greatness instead of it fulfilling a negative prophecy. Let it motivate you towards success.
Inspirational Topic-Related Readings
Hebrews 6 v 8
John 10 v 22-39
John 12 v 44
Matthew 12 v 22-37
Isiah 41 v 10
Matthew 18 v 20
Psalms 23 v 4
You try to be honest so you keep within everyone’s sight.
You call, you write, you try everything
Yet complete satisfaction it cannot bring
To your assessor, the evaluator so you can be the chosen one
although you are suitable for the position.
What happens?????? You are rejected!
You will put up a fight
Work even at night because u believe it’s worthwhile,
You will get rid of your frown, put on a smile
Or even walk a mile
To get what you want, to probably earn trust and maybe develop a friendship, you will give gifts or offer a lift yet still you are rejected.
You communicate, but you can hardly relate or agree on anything. Sudden change of plans,
Things get out of hand and then there’s no room to contemplate,
Things could have turned out right if you both took the time
To calm down and relate, and stop with the fuss and fights.
You are so full of yourselves so you hardly played your roles, of listening and respecting each other,
expressing yourselves in different ways
showing love and kindness, whenever the opportunity came, you hardly enjoyed each day.
To not always be defensive or offended by whatever the other did or say,
spend some time to take walks in the park or may even stop and pray.
Do spontaneous things at the drop of a hat like eating pizza or seeing a movie
Relax on the beach or even retreat to a little shack on a hill; where you could reduce the pace and try to relate in a different environment still.
To express yourselves without having making love is something all should do,
It gives you time to somehow unwind, earn trust and enjoy each other’s “spirits” too.
The inner man you will understand if you go this route and then,
A life may be saved, no heart you will break
You don’t have to worry and fret.
As no one will want to shoot you then, because……. They were rejected!
So much could have happened and you are saddened, your hopes have been dashed, your heart hurts too
As the person with such promise didn’t get to know you because……
You were REJECTED!!!
Which position have you been in? The rejector or the rejected?
Me????Well to be honest, I will say…both!
Written by Lyssa-Ann Clarke (2003)